School......

So school is overwhelming the crap out of me. I’ve been pretty good all semester with dealing with stress, but all of a sudden its like a HUGE wave that came out of nowhere and has knocked me over. I’m procrastinating and hating on myself for it. I have a million projects to do and exams to study for, on top of work, motherhood and in the beginning stages of terrible 2's not to mention learning a new job at my current place of employment. I have been noticing my nutrition is not the best lately and I keep saying I will keep trying but some days the stress takes over and so does the emotional, binge eating! Financially, we have been struggling also ever since I was laid off last year...... AHHH the Stress, I plan on starting yoga again and this Saturday i will be checking out a mommy and me yoga class and I have been in contacts with my old trainer Jon and we are trying to set something up to start boxing again. I am trying to keep the faith and motivation. Then you have those people who always want to tell you that what you are doing isn't good enough or that you make excuses but in reality I ask myself do these people know my "REAL" LIFE or what I struggle with daily...the answer is NO, they don't and they cannot even imagine what I deal with on a daily basis. Some people see the outer part of me and think they know the REAL ME. Some never even try to hear me out or my story they are so quick to judge rather than open their ears, heart and eyes. i am grateful for the ones who support me always and show me just how much i mean to them.

How I feel:

She is what keeps me going!!!!

Isabella at 19 Months Old!

The life of an Emotional Eater....

The life of an emotional eater....

I am an emotional eater. It is hard for me to say it out loud, but it is true. I am addicted to food when I am stress, sad, happy or angry. It has more control over me than I’d ever like to admit. But I am addicted to it. I’m addicted to the salt and the sugar and all things food. I crave food almost all the time. I’ve been battling with this emotional eating  since I was about 22, and I really need to beat it the crap out of it. I need to enjoy food and savor it and nourish my body and pleasure myself with delightful treats and fabulous recipes. But there is a difference between enjoyment and sustenance and craving food every single minute of every day even more when I am stressed out. Lately life has not been easy for me or my family, I find old habits wanting to make sight in my every day life yet again, I remember being a teenager and when I was stressed I would not eat at all to the point of anorexia. I have always had this love / hate relationship with food and always trying to learn balance. As much as I am trying to succeed now in losing the rest of my weight, I feel I have hit a standstill, I know I will continue working on it every day but there are days I feel no one understands. I have had comments lately with people saying "well you aren't as big as you used to be" but " you have to keep moving". I get comments that people feel  I am making excuses for not working out, I say if you had a needy toddler running around, a husband who works almost every single day, in school for your master's degree and trying to maintain a house - not to mention fit in sleep. I really am not making excuses, I would much rather be in the gym like I did before but its not possible at this point in my life. All I can do is work every day and thank god for what he has already blessed me with and just keep swimming. 

Ashley M.

Pregnancy Weight 204 to Current Weight 177

BEAUTIFUL...

Happy New Years!!!!

Hello My Lovely's, 

Sorry I have not posted in some time but many many things have been happening. My daughter is now a toddler- yup there I said it! I just cannot believe how my 5 pounds little baby is now almost 20 pounds, walking, talking and nearly running the halls. She is my true pride and joy in this world. 

Today I turned the big 3-0! Yes I am officially out of the twenties, so far I don't feel any different. I have lost close to 25 pounds since having my daughter with many more pounds to go. I am still actively using Herbal Life and so far I have a lot more energy than I did before. Working out is still an every day struggle but I attempt to fit it in at least three days a week. My husband still works crazy hours which can hinder working out. I finished school in 2013 and I am now a social worker, I work mainly with the aged and disabled adults and I can honestly say I love what I am doing. 

Recently, I went to the doctors and got a GREAT report on my blood pressure! NO MORE HYPERTENSION! I love hearing that- you have no idea! On the downside of things, anxiety is still a major issue in my life along with the emotional eating. I have been trying different things to help remove this problem from my life. In the last two weeks my PTSD was triggered and I am catching myself falling into old "bad habits". I have been praying daily, doing breathing workouts and trying to keep my mind right. I will say in these last two weeks, I have binged about 3-4 times and have caught myself right in the very act and stepped back. I cried because of it even- but my husband has been extremely supportive as he always is and reminded me to not lose sight of what is important and to remember to not be so hard on myself. I have realized that even though the abuse I endured seven years ago still remains in my memories, I AM NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE.  I can overcome whatever obstacles are thrown my way and I AM DETERMINED to not be overweight anymore!!!!

MY BIG GIRL AT 16 MONTHS

THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING- AMARIE

Hello Fellow Followers! I am back!!!!!

Hello Followers,
I know I haven't posted in a while my baby girl keeps me on my toes but Today I did my official first workout post csection and  I am proud of myself today I stopped making excuses and just got up and went and did 3.5 miles I may have walked a little more than run but I thought I would not be able to even do 1 mile but my body remembered what's it like to workout I feel so great right now and the extra pep talk from my old trainer Jon last night was just what I needed I am so ready to lose these last 20+ baby weight pounds! 

OPERATION MILF BABY!!

Isabella at 9 months my workout partner!!!!

Demi Lovato - Believe In Me - Official Music Video (HD)