Changes and My First 5K Walk/Run....

Hello Friends and Followers,

Sorry I haven't posted lately things have been quite busy between starting two new classes at school, moving to a bigger place, fundraising and working full time.

This past Saturday I ran/walked my very first 5k race, I had to push through some soreness midway but I was able to finish it all. I felt a sense of accomplishment within myself for beating the odds by losing weight and being capable to finish this with out any ankle soreness like before I lost the weight. I know I still have a ways to go with beating this obesity but this gave me even more hope and determination to lose this weight. Recently I have felt I was losing my drive to defeat the battle of the bulge but after speaking with Rob G. and completing my marathon I feel like that hope has resurfaced. I am considering switching gyms because my current gym doesn't offer spin classes and I feel I am ready to try taking some classes since I am currently not working with a trainer since my sessions have ended. I do plan on going back to Duilio once things get settled down a bit financially. Losing weight can get quite pricey between gym fees , nutrition, nutritionist and training so I have decided to take a short break to get financially more stable again.
I have been beating myself up lately because with my busy schedule I have not been able to get to the gym consistently or see my Nutritionist and this past week some mean person told me that I was "Way to Heavy" for my height and said some other harsh things. I have tried to overlook those comments but deep down they always effect me. I have prayed about it and prayed for the person who said those mean comments because I know I am trying and making an effort to change my life and my body.

I do have some news to announce- My husband and I have agreed that it is time to start trying for a family we feel it is time to bring a new little one into the world. I know some of you are thinking " But YOU still have thirty pounds to lose" and I understand your concern there that is why I am going to continue to eat right, drink my water and workout. There are some medical concerns not so much regarding my weight but from when I had cervical cancer cells removed a few years ago. Apparently, new research has been done regarding the surgical procedure I had done and they are saying some woman cannot conceive or may have a very hard time conceiving a child. Eddie and I are hoping for the best, we pray daily and support one another as much as possible. I won't lie when I heard this on Friday of last week I did cry and was very upset at first but now I realize that just because they may say that doesn't mean that this will happen to me. I am trying to stay positive and we will keep trying until we get our precious bundle of joy. I would like to Thank my husband for always standing  by my side and supporting me even when he doesn't always agree with somethings I may want to do. I am very blessed to have such a great husband and family and of course my friends to help push me along this crazy, beautiful life!

Thank you all for following, reading and supporting me!!!

Ashley M.

Day 375!

Hello Friends and Followers:
Well I weighed in on Friday and it seems I lost a pound but I gained 3.2 of fat and lost muscle, so needless to say not my best weigh in. However I am staying positive and I know its because of me not working out these last two weeks, so starting Monday (tomorrow) its getting back in the game and hitting the gym again for my 5-6 days per week. My nutritionist and I discussed me switching up my lunches since for the past year I havent really veered of course, so I made a choice to try to make something different each week so this week my husband and I are making yummy turkey chili because its one of my favorite reciepes that my husband makes. I am also going to try a new execrsise called "spin" I am very worried though because of my back injuries but I am willing to give it my best shot! I have been on the fence with switching gyms so I will go to LA Fitness tomorrow on my lunch hour and sit down and speak with them about getting a free pass for a week to try them out and see if they can work with my needs. So i'm sure with the minor adjustments I am making that on my next weigh in we will see a change! :)

My husband and I goofing around while making chili!

The trick is to stay positive and remember weight loss doesn't just happen it takes REAL WORK and lots of effort. This will be a constant battle in my life but I know that in the end it is so worth it. I have accepted the fact that the mirror will always have two faces, one positive face and that other a negative nancy but you have to put your BIG GIRL PANTIES ON and tell the negative nancies to keep it movin! LOL :)


Thanks for following and supporting!!!
Ashley M.

October Marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month...

Hello Friends and Followers:

Welcome to October!

 I can't believe we are already in October and these holidays are approaching so quickly. Well tonight's post will be a little different than most because October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Many Americans seem to overlook this predominate and ever growing issue in our society today. DV is a serious issue today it effects not only women but men as well. As a survivor of DV, I have decided to help spread the word and become an advocate for survivors of abuse. This month is very special for me because I get to run my first 5k race in honor of victims and survivors of Domestic Violence. So far I have raised $325.00 for my fundraiser which will help out these families who really need the help. My goal is to reach $500 by October 20th I really hope I can hit the $500 mark. In August it marked four years of being free from my abuser and I am happy to report that I am no longer intimidated by him. He has tried over that last several years to reach out to me and has done much damage but I am happy to report that I AM STRONGER than I was back then. I have changed as a person in both good and bad ways but I am human and that happens. Domestic Violence isn't just physical abuse but its also verbal abuse which can lead to other traumas such as PTSD and Anxiety Disorders. Almost three years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and it all boils down to having a gun to my head and my life literally flashing before me. I really thought I was going to never see my family and friends again, luckily I was able to break free and something in my abuser snapped and he stormed out of the house.  Busted lips, swollen face and unable to walk- I grabbed the phone immediately and made the toughest call I ever had to make and that was to my parents telling them I was hurt and abused. I never in a million years thought that I would have ever had to make that call for help. I am truly blessed to have such amazing parents and an amazingly supportive family and handful of friends to make my move back from Texas run more smoothly.  Without the support I received I really can't say where I might be today or what mindset I might be in but I am so thankful for everyone who helped me when I most needed it. DV is a serious issue today and I am asking everyone that if you witness someone being abused please SPEAK OUT! For my followers that are in a similar situation to what I experienced four years ago, Listen - You are worth more than anything, There are ways out of abuse and help is out there. 

Remember don't let bad situations DEFINE YOU, You are a beautiful butterfly and always ,always,  always BELIEVE in YOURSELF.

For my own personal battle, I still have my body image struggles but over the last twelve months I have learned to accept some of my flaws and grow from every experience both good or bad. I have my moments of insecurities- for instance in these last two weeks since I have moved to a new place I have been focusing more on that with the unpacking and everything rather than working out and this morning I had an insecurity outrage by asking my husband multiple times if it looked like I was gaining weight or if i looked fat in my dress that  I was wearing for work. My husband reminded me that I've come a long way and that I looked beautiful, he reassured me that this week I will hit the gym and everything will go back to normal. He made me feel better but I still had  my mental "fat girl" state. Its like the little demon that never goes away, Sometimes I have to tell that demon to SHUT UP because deep down I know better and I know that each day I am working on losing weight and trying the best that I can. We all have struggles and its all on how we cope with those struggles and just always keep in mind that LOVING YOURSELF is the best gift you can give to YOURSELF.

Thanks for Reading, Supporting and Following!!!

Ashley M.

p.s. Here are some little quotes :